What I Learned Potty Training My Son
By Dr. Troy Jackson
Today I want to talk about one of the more difficult moments in a parent’s life, a time filled with anxiety that completely takes over your schedule, your attention, and sometimes your sanity: potty training.
If you’ve been through it, you know exactly what I mean.
But as I went through this experience with my son, I realized something surprising: the process of potty training has a lot in common with building healthy habits as adults.
My Experience Potty Training My Son
This is our second time going through the process. We did it a few years ago with our daughter, and now it’s my son’s turn.
If you’ve never potty trained a child before, here’s what it looks like: hours of sitting around watching a half-dressed toddler, waiting for the brief moment when they finally go so you can remind them, “Tee tee goes in the potty, not on the floor.” Waiting for the dreaded bowel movement is even worse — high stakes to catch that one!
When he does get it right, we celebrate like crazy. We cheer. We dance. And he gets an M&M. Since he had never eaten one before, he now thinks M&Ms are the greatest thing on earth. The reward makes the moment exciting, and he already looks forward to the next one.
Of course, I’m exaggerating a little for effect, but potty training is not something I’ve looked forward to doing as a father.
It takes over your weekend.
It’s painstaking.
It’s repetitive.
It’s boring.
There’s resistance. And you can never let your guard down, because that’s usually when the accident happens. But despite all of that, it’s necessary for his growth and maturity.
Building Habits Is Hard Too
As I sat there waiting for the next potty “event,” it suddenly hit me: This process is almost identical to building habits.
Creating healthy habits requires time, attention, and consistent effort. Often, it’s something we don’t naturally look forward to doing. It can feel like painstaking work to unravel old habits and replace them with better ones.
Sometimes it’s boring to repeat the same action over and over without seeing immediate results. You may even feel resistance and that voice in your head saying things like:
“This is too hard.”
“Maybe this isn’t worth it.”
And just like potty training, you can’t let your guard down. That’s usually when temptation shows up and the old habits creep back in.
But doing this work is necessary if you want to live a healthy, vibrant life.
And you are worth that effort.
How Habits Actually Form
Watching my son learn has been fascinating. At first, he struggled to connect the signals his body was sending with the action he needed to take. But slowly, he’s beginning to make the connection.
Over time, something that once required effort will eventually become second nature. Even though none of us remember learning this skill ourselves, we all mastered it eventually. The same is true with habit formation.
Think about someone in your life who is doing something you want to emulate. Maybe you think:
“I want to bring healthy lunches to work like Sharon.”
“I want to run a half marathon like Bill.”
What’s important to remember is that those people weren’t born with those habits. They made a decision to change something in their lives. They practiced the behavior. They struggled at times. And they kept working at it until it became part of their routine.
They weren’t born with perfect habits — they built them.
How Potty Training Is Similar to Building Healthy Habits
| Potty Training | Habit Building |
|---|---|
| Necessary for life | Necessary for health |
| Hard for everyone | Hard for everyone |
| Requires focused time | Requires focused time |
| Old habits must change | Old habits must change |
| Accidents happen | Slip-ups happen |
| Resistance is normal | Resistance is normal |
| Rewards help learning | Rewards help motivation |
| Consistency matters | Consistency matters |
Both processes follow the same pattern: practice, patience, and repetition.
The Real Secret to Building Better Habits
Potty training eventually ends, but the process of identifying unhealthy patterns and replacing them with healthier habits is something we all face throughout life.
The key is remembering that progress takes time.
Be patient with yourself.
Keep practicing.
Accept the occasional setback.
Stay consistent.
Because eventually, the behavior that once felt difficult will become automatic.
And that’s when a habit truly sticks.